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Favourite jokes

  • Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog
  • Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects
  • Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects
  • Bad puns in TV episode titles

(via americandauntless)


you left my soul in the dark so you could be king the rules you set are still untold to me and i’ve lost my faith in everything

you left my soul in the dark so you could be king the rules you set are still untold to me and i’ve lost my faith in everything

(Source: katnvss, via finnickswand)

disappointingpopsiclejokes:

Disappointing Popsicle Jokes

disappointingpopsiclejokes:

Disappointing Popsicle Jokes

(via americandauntless)

sigurrossgeller:

Man comments “boobies :p” on attractive female friend’s new profile picture in vain hope of creating sexual dynamic

(via l-laymitch)

I could see Josh and Jennifer actually falling in love..

paradise-joshutch:

idealfry:

hiccupbuddies:

andalltheangelsfell:

youloveme-real:

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He’s already there

So is she

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This is accurate for the past 3 years of the dynamic shift between Josh & Jen’s relationship.

That last gif will forever be my favorite joshifer gif. The way she looks at him. I would give anything for someone to look at me like that.

(via mockingjayhorcruxess)

*6

(Source: sasss-a-frass, via amber-lina)

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

hyperscraps:

missmonstermel:

winneganfake:

agender-unicorn:

skepticalwitch:

calypsos-island:

twohourartist:

isitsafe:

fandomsbecrazy:

oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old 

This should be a wake-up call to her parents.

She obviously needs help.

Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,

and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.

You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle

with goat or lamb blood,

and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.

This is great way to to teach your child early on

about geometry and foreign languages.

Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard

dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING 

Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.

She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl 

Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:

There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be. 

If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say. 

Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.

I love everything about this post

only on tumblr

(via amon-a-horse)